Ready … or Not ?

So I am one of those people who thinks about the reality of death [mine]. And like the Acapella group once sang: “After all that’s been said, after all that’s been sang … what will they be saying after I’m gone… Will they say that my life made a difference to the people who knew me best? Will they say that Jesus was my holy example?” …I often wonder about the impact I am making while I still here on earth…

Last Saturday, for a number of reasons I ended up going to bed at 01:30am [Sunday morning, really]. Right after I got into bed, my chest started paining. Really bad. And corresponding to the chest pain, was a sharp pain on my back-straight line to the back. I thought it was acid reflux. I took tum tums, expecting the pain to go in a few minutes. However, 30 minutes later I was still in pain. I started wondering if I should seek medical attention. But by then it was 2:00am and I really didn’t want to start a road trip to hospital at that time. I decided to wait it out and see what happens. Several minutes later, the pain was still quite strong and I decided to seek medical attention. When I got up I realized I wasn’t going to be able to drive, and the logical thing to do was to call my friendly neighbor to drive me to hospital. Got my phone, looked up his number… and then I looked at the time and it was 2:30am. “Surely,” I thought, “it’s too late to be calling someone, emergency or not”. So I went to the internet to check out symptoms and seriousness of the matter.  Causes, possible ailments that would result in chest pain, when to consult your doctor etc. And it seemed that I wasn’t badly off, pain notwithstanding.

Now, I subscribe to the school of thought that says that when your time on earth is up, it is up. You will go no matter what precautions you take or were you are. When the Lord calls you home, home you will go, I keep saying. So, this comes to me, and I think that if it is my time, it doesn’t matter if I get myself to hospital or not. I will be gone come morning either way. So I better not wake up my neighbour because I will have disturbed him for nothing. Furthermore, I will leave the poor guy with a burden he should not carry. He will be relating how he drove me to hospital, and then I didn’t make it. So I think to myself, that would not be fair on him, let me go to bed. If my time is up, it is up. And besides, as the bible says, “to live is Christ, to die is gain” – I think to myself. And I return to bed, knowing that there’s a strong possibility that I may not wake up in the morning. I ask the Lord to ease the pain so that I can sleep. And I slept.

Several hours later, I wake up. It’s a usual morning, nothing out of the ordinary. And suddenly it occurs to me that I am still on planet earth! And I am like, “…dear Lord, my time is not up!!!” Clearly, the good Lord still has plans for me here on earth. I’ve still got work to do. May I be found faithfully serving Him and working for His glory. Help me, Lord, to number my days aright.